my retirement.

i don't want to be star quarterback anymore. please. just let me sit on the bench. stop depending on me for a good game. i'm old, tired, and sick of it all.

i'm going into retirement. i'm serious. i'm not pulling a brett favre.

trip down memory lane

CROSS OUT THE THINGS YOU’VE DONE.

• Kissed someone.
• Smoked a cigarette.
• Got so drunk you passed out.
• Rode every ride at an amusement park.
• Collected something really stupid. 
• Gone to a rock concert.
• Helped someone.
• Gone fishing.
• Watched four movies in one night.
• Gone long periods of time without sleep. 
• Lied to someone.
• Snorted cocaine.
• Failed a class. 
• Smoked weed.
• Dealt drugs.
• Been in a car accident.
• Been in a tornado.
• Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, crack, meth, acid).
• Been to a funeral.
• Burned yourself
• Ran a marathon.
• Cried yourself to sleep. 
• Spent over $200 in one day.
• Flown on a plane.
• Been cheated on.
• Written a ten page letter.
• Gone skiing.
• Been sailing. 
• Cut yourself. 
• Had a best friend.
• Lost someone you loved.
• Shoplifted something. 
• Been to jail.
• Dangerously close to being in jail.
• Had detention.
• Skipped school.
• Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.
• Stolen books from the library.
• Gone to a different country.
• Dropped out of school.
• Been in a mental hospital.
• Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
• Had an online diary.
• Gambled in a casino.
• Had a yard sale.
• Had a lemonade stand. 
• Been in a school play. 
• Been fired from a job.
• Taken a lie detector test.
• Swam with dolphins.
• Gone to sea world.
• Voted for someone on a reality TV show.
• Written poetry.
• Read more than 20 books a year.
• Gone to Europe.
• Loved someone you shouldn’t have.
• Used a colouring book over age 12.
• Had surgery.
• Had stitches.
• Taken a taxi. 
• Seen the Washington Monument.
• Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.
• Overdosed.
• Had a drug or alcohol problem.
• Been in a fist fight.
• Suffered any form of abuse.
• Had a hamster.
• Petted a wild animal. 
• Gone surfing in California.
• Did “spirit day” at school. 
• Dyed your hair.
• Got a tattoo.
• Had something pierced.
• Got straight A’s.
• Been on the Honor Roll.
• Taken pictures with a webcam.
• Gotten caught having a party while parents were gone away.

back to the beginning

folks, it's about that time. the end is nigh! my two years in seoul is almost up and i'm on the prowl for a new job that will take me back stateside.

the plan? 

i'll move back to the states, get an architecture job, rack up my hours, get licensed, and then take a long hard look at my life and decide if i want to pursue something else or stay an architect. i know many of you are rooting for me to switch careers as soon as i get back ... but ... i need a safety net. i need to have a back-up plan. i figure, considering i went to school for 5 years for architecture, i should at least get licensed. i don't want all of that tuition money to go to waste, do i? i also am unsure if my unhappiness with architecture is due to my current environment (korean office, korean people, korean architecture ... korea in general) or the actual work itself. i think i'll give architecture one last chance.

phase one: research.

phase two: apply.

phase three: work on my portfolio.

phase four: interview. (hopefully!)

phase five: either repeat steps one, two, and four all over again or accept a position!

i spent most of my day researching firms i'd want to apply to. i'm currently looking for a job in new york city, san francisco, or chicago. does anyone have any contacts in any of these places that would be able to give me a bit more insight into the application process for their particular firms? i only know a few people in nyc and chicago and i know i'm going to need all the help i can get.

and ... that's as far as i've gotten. just the research. 

my plan is to have completed phase two by the beginning of next month. i need to start getting together my work samples, write a cover letter, and update my resume! there's only two weeks left till october! two weeks for all of that? mon dieu!

wish me luck!

the imperfectionists

"why do you kiss someone? to give pleasure or to take pleasure?"

f. scott fitzgerald

"that is the beauty of literature. you discover that your longings are universal longings, that you're not lonely and isolated from anyone. you belong."

never more beautiful

"the best part about a picture of a beautiful girl is that she will stay a beautiful girl forever. she can be lovely. she can be cool. she can be anything you want her to be. you will never see her cry, laugh, wrinkle, or age. you will never see her fall in love, give birth, fail, or succeed. you can't save her. and maybe you might want to. but you will say, she was never more beautiful."

lulu and your mom  

boundaries? what boundaries?

"i wanna send you a picture of my penis for reals"
"seriously"
"i wanna know what you think of it"

karen hong, CPI (certified penis inspector)

lua

"but me i'm not a gamble you can count on me to split
the love i sell you in the evening, by the morning won't exist."

become somebody

do you ever get the feeling that maybe you weren't meant to do great things? maybe you weren't meant to be extraordinary. maybe you were just meant to be.

trying to constantly be "somebody" is exhausting.

chicago and grass

blood type "b"

did anyone else notice that you can now add your blood type on your facebook profile? i have a feeling that only korean people went ahead and added this option.

korean people have this crazy belief that your personality is dependent on your blood type. i actually had no idea what my blood type was until i got here. apparently it's a big deal. people freaked out every time i said "i have no idea." true story. i think most of us in the states really don't know/don't care what our blood type is. to decide what kind of person someone is based on their blood type? now, that's just madness! that was then. this is now. after living here for over a year, i'm slowly starting to buy in to this whole "blood type personality" thing. apparently, according to my korean friends, i am so very much your typical blood type "b". i don't know if i should take that as a compliment or an insult. lol oh well. it is what it is.

oh yea, this isn't korean, but i also found this site that even breaks down the different types of food you should eat/avoid, the type of exercises that are best for your blood type, and what makes you "unique." apparently i should avoid chicken (eating it, that is. i can still hang with them if i please).

anyway, without further ado ...

i found these descriptions off some website. take a look for yourself. how do you compare?

Type A: The Farmer

Speaking broadly, it is said that people with Type A Blood are calm, composed, levelheaded, and very serious. They have a firm character, and are reliable, trustworthy, and hardheaded. They are shy, introverted perfectionists. They are considerate to others and don’t easily lie. They are loyal to friends and coworkers. They can be secretive, though, and don’t often share their feelings. They try to suppress their own emotions, and because they have continual practice in doing this, they appear strong, when, in actuality, they have a fragile, nervous side, as well. They tend to be hard on people who are not of the same type, and consequently, tend to be surrounded with people of the same temperament. They also don’t hold their liquor well. Type A’s are the most artistic of the groups. They can be shy, cautious, conscientious, reliable, trustworthy, and sensitive. They can also be overcautious, picky, arrogant, and reckless when drunk.

Type B: The Hunter

People with Type B Blood are curious everything. That may be good, but they also tend to have too many interests and hobbies. They tend to get excited about something suddenly only to drop it again just as quickly. They seem to manage to know which of their many interests or loved ones are truly the most important. B Types tend to excel in things rather than just be average, but they tend to be so involved in their own world that they neglect other things. They have independent spirits with strong personalities. They have the image of being bright and cheerful, full of energy and enthusiasm, but some people think that they are really quite different on the inside. They also don’t really want to have much personal contact with others. While they don’t care what others think of them. They are extremely passionate about the things they hold dear. Type B’s are the individualists of the blood group categories and find their own way in life. Type B personalities can be curious, bright, cheerful, enthusiastic, independent, sensitive, and unpredictable. They can also be superficial, unreliable, selfish, unpredictable, indiscreet, lazy, and impatient.

Type AB: The Humanist

Type-AB people are an unpredictable, distant lot, but tend to use their heads over their hearts. They are good with money. Type AB’s are the split personalities of the blood groups. They are considerate of other people’s feelings and deal with them with care and caution. On the other hand, though, they are strict with themselves and those close to them. They, therefore, seem to have two personalities: one for those “outside,” and another for people on the “inside.” They often become sentimental, and they tend to think too deeply about things. AB Types have a lot of friends, but they need time to be alone and think things through, as well. They can be both outgoing and shy, confident and timid. While responsible, too much responsibility will cause a problem. They are trustworthy and like to help others. Type AB personalities can be sensitive, considerate, careful, and efficient. They can also be strict, moody, easily offended, critical, and standoffish.

Type O: The Warrior

Type-O people are outgoing, expressive, and passionate. They are highly motivated, natural leaders. Blessed with a strong physical presence, they aren’t afraid to gamble because they are so convinced they’ll win. Type O Blood people are said to set the mood for a group and to take on the role of creating harmony among its members. Their image is one of being peaceful and carefree. They are also thought to be big-hearted and benevolent, and they tend to spend money on others generously.They are natural athletes. They tend to be obsessive in their quest for success, and this can make them boring to others. Type O’s are outgoing, and very social. They are initiators, although they don’t always finish what they start. They appear to be levelheaded and trustworthy, but they often slip and make big blunders inadvertently. That is also the what makes O Types lovable. Creative and popular, they love to be the center of attention and appear very self confident. Type 0 personalities can be carefree, generous, independent, flexible, idealistic, goal-oriented, athletic, competitive, and adaptable. They can also be clumsy, flighty, jealous, greedy, unreliable, obsessive lover, vain loudmouths.

Romatic Compatability by Blood Groups:

A is most compatible with A and AB

B is most compatible with B and AB

AB is most compatible with AB, B, A and O

O is most compatible with O, and AB

moving on up, to the northside

can you believe it?! it's already been a year since i've been able to call a little piece of seoul my own. sadly, i couldn't renew the lease on that piece and had to venture out and claim another. the place i used to live was located south of the river and the new place is located north of the river. let me tell you, that relocation made a huge difference! basically, i moved from a nice downtown, fast-paced neighborhood to a nice suburban, quiet neighborhood. seriously, i used to not be able to sleep due to all the noise coming up from the streets when i lived in cheongdam. now, in ichon, all i hear at night are the sounds of cicadas a-chirpin' and raindrops a-droppin'. it's great! peace and quiet at last!

well, without further ado ...

the living room

the kitchen

the bathroom

the bedroom

the walk-in closet!!!!

and just one more for good measure ...

i think sani's definitely enjoying the new place

bernal heights

free download of jhameel's album, the human condition, here.

gary shteyngart, super sad true love story

"i KNOW you are capable of love, that you cannot hide forever from the truth of being a full emotional human being with a need to connect, with a need to be with someone who can understand you and where you come from, respect you, and take care of you. And that's what i want to do, Eunice, to take care of you, forever and ever."

sisters

missing my sisters. damn. we look good. 

bored at work ... again

i'm a sucker for men's shoes and the men who wear said shoes. yeaaaa ... probably not the guy pictured below. but those shoes! i've always loved those shoes. i love 'em so much i made both peter and patrick (the only men in my life that'll let me shop for them) buy a similar pair. 

image credit: the sartorialist

i love these shoes. i wish i knew more guys in korea who owned these shoes and possessed that certain ... something ... to pull them off. oh, it'd also help if they weren't the brother and the brother-like friend. 

jcrew suede macalister boots

speaking of shoes and men and whatnot ...

how many of you guys would walk (without pretending you don't know me) next to me if i was rocking these bad boys?

isabel marant manly goat leather boots

i'd rock these so hard. i want them so bad, it hurts.

freaks and geeks

nick: "you need to find your reason for living. you gotta find your big, gigantic drum kit. you know?"

lindsay: "maybe i'll buy a clarinet."

peanut butter smores bars

i received a lovely surprise last friday all the way from the good ol' u.s. of a. my sister sent me a care package filled with some of the things i've been missing the most from the states. it wasn't too big but it was filled with exactly what i wanted. i've been desperately craving anything involving smores and this package couldn't have come at a more perfect time. seriously korea, how can you not sell graham crackers?! also, the marshmallows she sent me are these new flat marshmallows they created solely to accommodate smore assembling!!! genius? i think so!

graham crackers, marshmallows, hershey's chocolate, reese's pieces, gummy bears, and homemade cookies (not pictured)

now, what to do with all these ingredients? david and i already made a few smores last night while watching bad boys 2 and being just overall super american. they were delish! i'm seriously considering making this recipe pictured below. however, i'm not sure if i want to waste what little provisions i have on a recipe i'm not too sure about. i could make so many individual smores with the ingredients it takes to make these bars! i assume these bad boys would also disappear in a matter of hours. that would be sad. what to do? what to do?

peanut butter smores bars

side note: i think @wookymonster was right. i really do need some real world problems.

don't judge a book by it's cover

this weekend was a much-needed reminder that one's personality, truly, is what's important.

@wookymonster to @khongster

"Can't sleep. Read your blog. We need to find you some real world problems."

chocolate gooey butter cookies

ash requested i post a picture of cookies. i went one step further and posted the recipe as well. you're welcome. i used to make these cookies all the time in college when i wanted to avoid doing actual work. they're on my list of top 10 favorite cookies of all time. like everything worthwhile in life, they take a little time. however, they're incredibly easy to make. do it. make them. you won't regret it.

chocolate gooey butter cookies

p.s. you can totally rework the recipe and use lemon cake batter and lemon extract to make the perfect lemon gooey butter cookies. they're perfection. i promise.

do opposites really attract?

for some odd reason the topic of compatibility and relationships keep being brought up in a number of conversations i've been a part of lately. i've had a bevy of conversations with friends that consist of questions like: "do you think opposites really attract?", "do you have a tendency to like people who are more like you?", so on and so forth. you get the point.

i think the reason why i even have an inkling of interest in this topic may have to do with the fact that lately, i feel i'm ready for something different. something that isn't something akin to one of my many platonic relationships. i've been having these terrible cravings to connect with someone, anyone (well, not ANYONE), and i honestly believe these are all very important questions to consider before you get to that pivotal moment when you say, " hey baby, let's get it on." hah! i kid! i kid! i would never call anyone "baby"!

anyway ...

back to the topic at hand.

i honestly believe that people, companions, friends, etc. who are completely different from each other can have something beautiful together. i think one's personality isn't necessarily the defining factor of whether a relationship works or not. i like to believe that just as long as two beings have similar interests, hobbies, and really make the effort to accommodate the other's needs, they could be perfect for each other. (i keep saying "beings" because i'm totally referring to my current lover, my dog.)

wow. did that statement just make me sound like some naive hopeless romantic? i'm sorry. how uncharacteristic of me.

but yes, i honestly believe it. a prime example is my friend, we'll call him boy. boy happens to be a very old and very good friend of mine. the reason we're such good friends? we are essentially the same person except that i am sans penis. we both are incapable of holding a phone conversation for longer than is necessary. talk on the phone for hours about how your day was? pft! yea right! that's just pure madness! we both have the tendency to practice very little tact when it comes to other's feelings. we both don't seem to really understand the social norms of communication. we're both basically fairly independent people that do as we want, when we want, without really taking others into consideration. well, at least that's how he used to be.

now a little background information on his girlfriend, we'll call her girl. girl happens to be the complete opposite. she's your typical female. she likes to ring him up regularly to see how his day was. she likes to call him a million times in a row if he doesn't pick up the phone right away. she wants to know what he did all day. she likes to see him whenever she can. she is, easily put, emotionally dependent. i'm not saying that's a bad thing. i'm just stating the facts. girl and boy couldn't have started out more different.

i had lunch with them the other day and we got to talking. how do you guys make your relationship work? how does her "neediness" not get on your nerves? how does his inability to talk on the phone and be there whenever you need him not piss you off? after all was said and done, it was quite simple. compromise. typical, i know. but it's what works. after over a year of dating, they have become better people because of each other. boy is now a much more understanding, social person. boy takes into account other people's feelings and needs before his own. boy is on his way to becoming a real human being. girl has also changed for the better. girl has become less needy and demanding. girl has chilled down quite a bit. girl doesn't call 10 times in a row if the boy doesn't pick up the phone right away. girl waits for him to call her back. she now knows he eventually will. easy as that.

what is the point of this long ass story that i'm sure you stopped reading 30 lines ago?

well, let me tell you my kiddies.

it all goes back to proving my statement that no matter how different two people's personalities are, it doesn't matter. if you're willing to put in the time and effort to accommodate the other person and to meet somewhere in the middle, anything can work. also, you may walk away becoming a better person having done so. obviously (in my opinion), having something in common that can become a topic of conversation is also a necessary factor in sustaining a viable relationship, but that seems to be a no-brainer.

basically, i walked away from this conversation with the boy telling me i'm just like him. we need to date someone who's not exactly like us. i need someone like girl. someone who will keep me accountable. someone who will pick up the phone and call me regularly and make me make the effort to see them. someone who is just a little bit "needy". someone who is so unlike myself that it's almost painful in the beginning. this could be my saving grace. obviously, this isn't going to be the game changer when it comes to my issues in the relationship department. however, this post is getting way too long and delving into that would take at least 3 more pages. my problematic love-life is a topic that can addressed at another time. trust me. i won't be rid of these problems anytime soon. after all, as you all know, i am the queen supreme of the friend-zone.

did that post even make sense? did i even address the topic? i don't know what just happened. whatever. doesn't matter. in the end, it's just me thinking out loud. who really cares if it makes any sense to anyone else.

woody allen, the new shelton wet/dry

"Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions."

borrowed from robert's tumblr

blindness

blindness by jose saramago

so good. go read now.

august

it's august already! oh, how time flies! i can't believe summer is already more than half-way over. i can't wait till fall. fall weather in korea is perfection. summer, not so much. well, since we still have a couple months till it starts cooling down a bit here ...

things to look foward to in august:

shin's visit ...

christine's visit ...

doug and irene's visit ...

and of course, my big move north of the river in a couple weeks! it's crazy. NORTH of the river! changes are a-brewin'!

i always love when it when old friends come visit seoul (and me!). after all, if i can't go back to see everyone, the next best option is having everyone come here to see me!

it's going to be a good month. i can feel it in my bones.

s'mores stuffed chocolate chip cookies

s'mores stuffed chocolate chip cookies

oh, the things i'd do for an oven right about now. if you have an oven, bake me these, and send them to me. please, oh pretty please. i promise to love you forever. no lie.

the end is nigh

soooo .... apparently seoul is experiencing some sort of apocalyptic storm. anyone know where i can find the guy with the ark?

oh yea, that's definitely very close to my current neighborhood. don't worry, people. i'm fine. sani's fine. this may be one of the only instances i'm thankful for living on top of a hill.

i'm sorry, sani. i don't think your rain jacket is going to do you much good right now.

one day alice came to a fork in the road and saw a cheshire cat in a tree

"which road do i take?" she asked.

"where do you want to go?" was his response.

"i don't know." alice answered.

"then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

coco chanel

"in order to be irreplaceable one must always be different."

falling behind

ever have one of those moments where you realize you're just a teensy weensy bit behind on your dreams? what about one of those moments where you realize that even if they were to come true, you don't know if you'd be ready for it?

me: before 30

hmmm

i want my first kid before 30

Stephany: you're only 25

me: so that means

shit

Stephany: oh

kids.. before 30

me: i want a year between marriage and kid

Stephany: that's tough...

me: at least a year

shit shit shit

i need to be married by like 28 or at latest 29

2 years of dating. 1 year of engagement

fuck

3 years

so i should meet my future husband ... now

like right now

hah

Stephany: yes right now

go look

me: f

me

this isnt good

thought party up in my head

i'm young.

i have time.

i need to chill the fuck out.

i know. i know. i know!

i agree wholeheartedly.

i've been making a valiant (at least what i believe to be valiant) effort to relax, kick back, and just take everything day by day. however, i can't help but feel this certain amount of anxiety. i need to get my ducks in row! or is it line? who knows. i don't like ducks. they're loud, annoying, and they freak me out.

excuse me, i digress ...

anyway ...

it's probably not helping that we're already halfway through 2011 and i still have yet to plan my next move. questions looming ...

where do i move?

when do i move?

where should i go in january?

when am i going to visit london?

should i just stay in korea till after stephany gets married?

why the hell is everyone getting married in 2012?

will i ever get married?

do i really come off as emotionless to everyone?

can i really run that half marathon in june?

what's the big plan?

will i ever finish my portfolio?

do i even want to work on my portfolio?

do i even want to stay in architecture?

do i want to be underpaid and overworked forever?

is it time for a career change?

can i hack it in fashion?

do i want to start all over again?!

does that mean i have to move to new york city?

do i want to live in a tiny cramped apartment with a roommate i'll inevitably hate?

when am i going to have the time to travel the world if i'm starting all over again?!

what's the right thing to do?

just a sampling of the questions hanging out and causing a ruckus up in my brain. they haunt my dreams ... not really. but that's quite a lot to think about. maybe it's time to actually start answering some of them.

don't worry. this isn't me taking a dive into the dark lake of depression. i'm just trying to figure things out. what really makes me happy? after all, that's what i, what everybody, wants in the end. right?

to just be happy. =)

the summer blues (and other hues)

fact: i am slightly (understatement of the year) obsessed with men's clothing. let me reiterate. the clothing. not the guy wearing the clothes. no no. the actual clothing itself. (well, the guys aren't too shabby either) sometimes i wish i were a man. maybe a gay man, considering my propensity towards men.

i'd probably wear men's clothes all the time if i could.

obviously, style is subjective and while i may find everything here gosh darn swoon-worthy, you, on the other hand, may find everything i've posted here hideous. whatever. you say "to-mah-to", i say "to-may-to". however, at the end of the day, this is my blog and i do (post) what i want! also, i'm going to go ahead and say this, only weirdos pronounce tomato "to-mah-to." fact.

ladies: enjoy the well dressed boys.

gentlemen: take a hint. please.

milan fashion week street style

paris fashion week street style

pitti uomo fashion week street style

all photo credit: tommy ton for GQ

navy, olive green, shades of gray, summer suits, loafers, denim shirts, and preppy chic! oh my!

also ... watch this. it's guaranteed to put a smile on your face. maybe not if you're a guy. whatever. that's not my problem. =)

Boys of Milan & Paris FW2011 from Justin Wu on Vimeo.

she looks like she would be emotionally unstable

hey

sometimes if you're up for it

that's fun

it's all up to you

whether or not you're willing to go on a lil adventure or not

if you have nothing better than try it

yeah i think what it requires the most of

is you gotta know where and when you are

if this is the proper context

if this is a good time for you to deal with this

that's my thing right now

although i wish i could just forest gump things

but i'm still too serious at times

the fact that a lot of us just have these wants…

have these understandings of what the other person should be

but the funny thing is

rarely do we know who we are

or ever do we spend the time

to figure out what is going on with us

but that's the thing

to understand that because you're capable of change

because you're capable of being someone else altogether

this means that any one person can be something/someone different

the only thing is

what's the catalyst that'll do this ?

if it's something internally or if it's something externally that sparks this

for those that spark externally

they live a shallow life not investigating or getting to know anything

whereas those who internally drive to change themselves for themselves

the ones that are self scrutinizing and demanding more of themselves

they are the ones that i think will make that journey worthwhile

you should live your life

with the excitement of the next day

you should live your life in a way that you're invigorated

and sure you'll have lows

really low lows too

but something inside you must be there to fight all that

and just make you want more of yourself

and demand more of yourself

------------------------------------------------------------------------

sorry if it seems a little scattered. i wanted to omit whatever i contributed to the conversation. i wanted it to be just him. he's my living, breathing, real-life self help book.

is it just me or does anyone else feel like all the good, real conversations only happen in the middle of the night?

oprah winfrey

"you cannot wait for someone to save you, to help you, to complete you. no one can complete you. you complete yourself."

wanted: dependable clutch player in korea

saturday night, waiting for friends who said they'd show up to walk through the door. one by one, they all fall through.

me: everyone i depended on is bailing

friend: at times like this you need a clutch player. someone who will always be there to pick you up during hard times. mine is captain morgan and walker.

me: mine is ry

friend: what's ry?

me: szanyi

it's been too long! i miss my gold coast neighbor and faux boyfriend. =( i've seen everyone else at least 2 times since i moved. i haven't seen mr. szanyi in 1.5 years! 1.5 years!!!! madness! going through ry guy withdrawl.

p.s. faux bfs are hard to come by these days. looking for a replacement is hard work.

weekend delight

this may have been one of the best weekends i've had in a long time. a positive perspective is everything. as soon as i decided to just live life, go with the flow, and enjoy the ride, everything just sort of fell into place. this may all seem like a bunch of hoohah but whatever, i had the best weekend ever.

coworker's baby's first birthday party
harry potter 7.2
long walks by the river w/ sani
drinks w/ friends and family
meeting new people
great conversations
good food
new shoes ... on sale!
mani/pedi

it's summertime and the living's easy.

jisan valley rock festival next weekend means a 4-day week for me.

oh yea, i also found a new place to live! i'll be moving in 2 weeks!!! the place is perfect and i think it's a good move. much quieter. it'll take me away from the chaos and the superficiality of cheongdam ... hopefully. i'll keep you posted.

loving life.

dries van noten

"it's more interesting to have just a picture of a small detail - then you can dream all the rest around it. because when you see the whole thing, what is there to imagine?"

video games

"they say that the world was built for two
only worth living if somebody is loving you"

i'd disagree.

still a great song.

what's the point of your existence?

"to feel.

it's as vital as breath.
and without it,
without love,
without anger,
without sorrow,
breath is just a clock ... ticking."

and she's back ...

hello all.

sorry for the lack of posting for the last 3 months. honestly speaking, nothing of real interest has happened to me since the last post. well, i turned 25. probably the reason why i'm back. 25 isn't all it's cracked up to be. i experienced a genuine panic attack for the first time since college and it wasn't pretty. i guess my quarter-life crisis came right on schedule. constant feelings of dread, regret, uncertainty, and ennui have been plaguing me. i'm just not myself right now.

i'd just like to say thanks to all of those people that made my birthday bearable this year. your words of love and encouragement are what keep me smiling and sane. i'm so thankful to have all of you part of my life. honestly, i don't know what i'd do without you guys.

anyway ...

so ... i guess the big 2-5. my first post as a 25 year old, mature adult. maybe a list of goals or something is in order. how about a little bit of what's been on my mind lately.

i'm trying to make myself better again. i want to go back to being the person i used to be. the genuinely happy person that didn't have to keep a fake smile plastered on her face at all times. i want to go back to being the person who loved life. the person who had goals, ambitions, and purpose. i realize my current lifestyle isn't conducive to me attaining any of this. i'm trying. i'm going to start with all the things that used to bring me joy.

run
love
live
laugh
read
eat
sleep
volunteer
reflect
travel
explore
adventure
spontaneity
human connection

i'm sure there's more that should be on this list. this will do for now. it's a good starting point.

i'm tired of being sad. i have so many blessings in my life. so many things i should be thankful for. i think i need to just remind myself of all these things anytime i'm feeling down.

thanks again for the constant support.

i love and miss you all.

handbook to life

just a teensy weensy bit behind on the whole blogging thing. have yet to show you all my pictures from singapore or the most adorable new boy in my life. all in due time. for now ...

Handbook to Life

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don’t have negative thoughts over things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don’t overdo. Keep your limits.
14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. Be grateful for what you have been given.
18. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
21. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away (like algebra class) but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
22. Smile and laugh more.
23. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:
24. Call your family often.
25. Each day give something good to others.
26. Forgive.
27. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
28. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
31. Do the right thing!
32. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
33. God heals everything.
34. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
36. The best is yet to come.
37. When you awake alive in the morning, thank God for it.
38. Your inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

bollocks to adulthood!

hi all.

long time no see.

it's a beautiful saturday afternoon in seoul. it's sunny and warm and it looks like everyone is out enjoying the weather. well, everyone but yours truly. i am currently sitting at my desk, in front of my computer, in my office, and NOT out and about trying to fool myself that it is warm enough to sit outside of my favorite cafe and people watch. i should also mention that one day this week i was at the office till 3am and another night i didn't go home till 8am the next morning. it's just like college but without all your awesome friends to keep you company! what fun! oh adulthood, you suck. a lot. pay attention kiddies, it's not all fun and games, designer shoes, and trips to exotic lands you thought it would be. sad, but true. however, all this hard work is what provides you the resources necessary to fund your trips to fun and exotic places (should you ever get enough vacation days to go). a prime example would be my recent trip to singapore/indonesia!

yes folks, you read right. i ended up going to singapore and indonesia instead of singapore and vietnam. funny story. americans need a visa to get in to the awesomeness that is vietnam. yup, not really a funny story but a story nonetheless. apparently koreans don't need one but americans do. that's where i got confused. i kept telling everyone in korea i was going to vietnam and no one, NO ONE!!!, mentioned that i might need a visa. so, i didn't realize i needed one until i got to singapore and my cousin asked me if i got my visa to get in to vietnam. say what????? uhhhh no ... i had not. i tried to get one last minute but since it was chinese new year the embassy decided it'd take a little holiday for the ENTIRE WEEK!!! those lazy bastards! we only get 1 day off for our stupid new years! apparently asians are not the unrelenting, super-efficient, workaholic robots we thought they were. lame balls.

however, my trip was still awesome. also, korean airlines is awesome. seriously. i've decided that, if given the choice, i will fly the majority of my flights on korean airlines. of course, this is when funds are available. sadly, korean airlines ticket prices match the quality of their impeccable service. it's freaking expensive!!!! however, they were able to reroute my return flight from vietnam-seoul to singapore-seoul free of fees. i only had to pay the $60 dollar ticket fare difference. one word. AWESOME. especially since when i called expedia to inquire about the same thing they said it would be impossible considering i was mid-trip. idiots. bollocks to expedia.com!!

anyway ...

it's almost dinner time and it looks like i actually have some work to do. update on my singapore trip with pictures (yay!) coming soon.