s'mores stuffed chocolate chip cookies

s'mores stuffed chocolate chip cookies

oh, the things i'd do for an oven right about now. if you have an oven, bake me these, and send them to me. please, oh pretty please. i promise to love you forever. no lie.

the end is nigh

soooo .... apparently seoul is experiencing some sort of apocalyptic storm. anyone know where i can find the guy with the ark?

oh yea, that's definitely very close to my current neighborhood. don't worry, people. i'm fine. sani's fine. this may be one of the only instances i'm thankful for living on top of a hill.

i'm sorry, sani. i don't think your rain jacket is going to do you much good right now.

one day alice came to a fork in the road and saw a cheshire cat in a tree

"which road do i take?" she asked.

"where do you want to go?" was his response.

"i don't know." alice answered.

"then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

coco chanel

"in order to be irreplaceable one must always be different."

falling behind

ever have one of those moments where you realize you're just a teensy weensy bit behind on your dreams? what about one of those moments where you realize that even if they were to come true, you don't know if you'd be ready for it?

me: before 30

hmmm

i want my first kid before 30

Stephany: you're only 25

me: so that means

shit

Stephany: oh

kids.. before 30

me: i want a year between marriage and kid

Stephany: that's tough...

me: at least a year

shit shit shit

i need to be married by like 28 or at latest 29

2 years of dating. 1 year of engagement

fuck

3 years

so i should meet my future husband ... now

like right now

hah

Stephany: yes right now

go look

me: f

me

this isnt good

thought party up in my head

i'm young.

i have time.

i need to chill the fuck out.

i know. i know. i know!

i agree wholeheartedly.

i've been making a valiant (at least what i believe to be valiant) effort to relax, kick back, and just take everything day by day. however, i can't help but feel this certain amount of anxiety. i need to get my ducks in row! or is it line? who knows. i don't like ducks. they're loud, annoying, and they freak me out.

excuse me, i digress ...

anyway ...

it's probably not helping that we're already halfway through 2011 and i still have yet to plan my next move. questions looming ...

where do i move?

when do i move?

where should i go in january?

when am i going to visit london?

should i just stay in korea till after stephany gets married?

why the hell is everyone getting married in 2012?

will i ever get married?

do i really come off as emotionless to everyone?

can i really run that half marathon in june?

what's the big plan?

will i ever finish my portfolio?

do i even want to work on my portfolio?

do i even want to stay in architecture?

do i want to be underpaid and overworked forever?

is it time for a career change?

can i hack it in fashion?

do i want to start all over again?!

does that mean i have to move to new york city?

do i want to live in a tiny cramped apartment with a roommate i'll inevitably hate?

when am i going to have the time to travel the world if i'm starting all over again?!

what's the right thing to do?

just a sampling of the questions hanging out and causing a ruckus up in my brain. they haunt my dreams ... not really. but that's quite a lot to think about. maybe it's time to actually start answering some of them.

don't worry. this isn't me taking a dive into the dark lake of depression. i'm just trying to figure things out. what really makes me happy? after all, that's what i, what everybody, wants in the end. right?

to just be happy. =)

the summer blues (and other hues)

fact: i am slightly (understatement of the year) obsessed with men's clothing. let me reiterate. the clothing. not the guy wearing the clothes. no no. the actual clothing itself. (well, the guys aren't too shabby either) sometimes i wish i were a man. maybe a gay man, considering my propensity towards men.

i'd probably wear men's clothes all the time if i could.

obviously, style is subjective and while i may find everything here gosh darn swoon-worthy, you, on the other hand, may find everything i've posted here hideous. whatever. you say "to-mah-to", i say "to-may-to". however, at the end of the day, this is my blog and i do (post) what i want! also, i'm going to go ahead and say this, only weirdos pronounce tomato "to-mah-to." fact.

ladies: enjoy the well dressed boys.

gentlemen: take a hint. please.

milan fashion week street style

paris fashion week street style

pitti uomo fashion week street style

all photo credit: tommy ton for GQ

navy, olive green, shades of gray, summer suits, loafers, denim shirts, and preppy chic! oh my!

also ... watch this. it's guaranteed to put a smile on your face. maybe not if you're a guy. whatever. that's not my problem. =)

Boys of Milan & Paris FW2011 from Justin Wu on Vimeo.

she looks like she would be emotionally unstable

hey

sometimes if you're up for it

that's fun

it's all up to you

whether or not you're willing to go on a lil adventure or not

if you have nothing better than try it

yeah i think what it requires the most of

is you gotta know where and when you are

if this is the proper context

if this is a good time for you to deal with this

that's my thing right now

although i wish i could just forest gump things

but i'm still too serious at times

the fact that a lot of us just have these wants…

have these understandings of what the other person should be

but the funny thing is

rarely do we know who we are

or ever do we spend the time

to figure out what is going on with us

but that's the thing

to understand that because you're capable of change

because you're capable of being someone else altogether

this means that any one person can be something/someone different

the only thing is

what's the catalyst that'll do this ?

if it's something internally or if it's something externally that sparks this

for those that spark externally

they live a shallow life not investigating or getting to know anything

whereas those who internally drive to change themselves for themselves

the ones that are self scrutinizing and demanding more of themselves

they are the ones that i think will make that journey worthwhile

you should live your life

with the excitement of the next day

you should live your life in a way that you're invigorated

and sure you'll have lows

really low lows too

but something inside you must be there to fight all that

and just make you want more of yourself

and demand more of yourself

------------------------------------------------------------------------

sorry if it seems a little scattered. i wanted to omit whatever i contributed to the conversation. i wanted it to be just him. he's my living, breathing, real-life self help book.

is it just me or does anyone else feel like all the good, real conversations only happen in the middle of the night?

oprah winfrey

"you cannot wait for someone to save you, to help you, to complete you. no one can complete you. you complete yourself."

wanted: dependable clutch player in korea

saturday night, waiting for friends who said they'd show up to walk through the door. one by one, they all fall through.

me: everyone i depended on is bailing

friend: at times like this you need a clutch player. someone who will always be there to pick you up during hard times. mine is captain morgan and walker.

me: mine is ry

friend: what's ry?

me: szanyi

it's been too long! i miss my gold coast neighbor and faux boyfriend. =( i've seen everyone else at least 2 times since i moved. i haven't seen mr. szanyi in 1.5 years! 1.5 years!!!! madness! going through ry guy withdrawl.

p.s. faux bfs are hard to come by these days. looking for a replacement is hard work.

weekend delight

this may have been one of the best weekends i've had in a long time. a positive perspective is everything. as soon as i decided to just live life, go with the flow, and enjoy the ride, everything just sort of fell into place. this may all seem like a bunch of hoohah but whatever, i had the best weekend ever.

coworker's baby's first birthday party
harry potter 7.2
long walks by the river w/ sani
drinks w/ friends and family
meeting new people
great conversations
good food
new shoes ... on sale!
mani/pedi

it's summertime and the living's easy.

jisan valley rock festival next weekend means a 4-day week for me.

oh yea, i also found a new place to live! i'll be moving in 2 weeks!!! the place is perfect and i think it's a good move. much quieter. it'll take me away from the chaos and the superficiality of cheongdam ... hopefully. i'll keep you posted.

loving life.

dries van noten

"it's more interesting to have just a picture of a small detail - then you can dream all the rest around it. because when you see the whole thing, what is there to imagine?"

video games

"they say that the world was built for two
only worth living if somebody is loving you"

i'd disagree.

still a great song.

what's the point of your existence?

"to feel.

it's as vital as breath.
and without it,
without love,
without anger,
without sorrow,
breath is just a clock ... ticking."

and she's back ...

hello all.

sorry for the lack of posting for the last 3 months. honestly speaking, nothing of real interest has happened to me since the last post. well, i turned 25. probably the reason why i'm back. 25 isn't all it's cracked up to be. i experienced a genuine panic attack for the first time since college and it wasn't pretty. i guess my quarter-life crisis came right on schedule. constant feelings of dread, regret, uncertainty, and ennui have been plaguing me. i'm just not myself right now.

i'd just like to say thanks to all of those people that made my birthday bearable this year. your words of love and encouragement are what keep me smiling and sane. i'm so thankful to have all of you part of my life. honestly, i don't know what i'd do without you guys.

anyway ...

so ... i guess the big 2-5. my first post as a 25 year old, mature adult. maybe a list of goals or something is in order. how about a little bit of what's been on my mind lately.

i'm trying to make myself better again. i want to go back to being the person i used to be. the genuinely happy person that didn't have to keep a fake smile plastered on her face at all times. i want to go back to being the person who loved life. the person who had goals, ambitions, and purpose. i realize my current lifestyle isn't conducive to me attaining any of this. i'm trying. i'm going to start with all the things that used to bring me joy.

run
love
live
laugh
read
eat
sleep
volunteer
reflect
travel
explore
adventure
spontaneity
human connection

i'm sure there's more that should be on this list. this will do for now. it's a good starting point.

i'm tired of being sad. i have so many blessings in my life. so many things i should be thankful for. i think i need to just remind myself of all these things anytime i'm feeling down.

thanks again for the constant support.

i love and miss you all.