boundaries? what boundaries?

"i wanna send you a picture of my penis for reals"
"seriously"
"i wanna know what you think of it"

karen hong, CPI (certified penis inspector)

@wookymonster to @khongster

"Can't sleep. Read your blog. We need to find you some real world problems."

do opposites really attract?

for some odd reason the topic of compatibility and relationships keep being brought up in a number of conversations i've been a part of lately. i've had a bevy of conversations with friends that consist of questions like: "do you think opposites really attract?", "do you have a tendency to like people who are more like you?", so on and so forth. you get the point.

i think the reason why i even have an inkling of interest in this topic may have to do with the fact that lately, i feel i'm ready for something different. something that isn't something akin to one of my many platonic relationships. i've been having these terrible cravings to connect with someone, anyone (well, not ANYONE), and i honestly believe these are all very important questions to consider before you get to that pivotal moment when you say, " hey baby, let's get it on." hah! i kid! i kid! i would never call anyone "baby"!

anyway ...

back to the topic at hand.

i honestly believe that people, companions, friends, etc. who are completely different from each other can have something beautiful together. i think one's personality isn't necessarily the defining factor of whether a relationship works or not. i like to believe that just as long as two beings have similar interests, hobbies, and really make the effort to accommodate the other's needs, they could be perfect for each other. (i keep saying "beings" because i'm totally referring to my current lover, my dog.)

wow. did that statement just make me sound like some naive hopeless romantic? i'm sorry. how uncharacteristic of me.

but yes, i honestly believe it. a prime example is my friend, we'll call him boy. boy happens to be a very old and very good friend of mine. the reason we're such good friends? we are essentially the same person except that i am sans penis. we both are incapable of holding a phone conversation for longer than is necessary. talk on the phone for hours about how your day was? pft! yea right! that's just pure madness! we both have the tendency to practice very little tact when it comes to other's feelings. we both don't seem to really understand the social norms of communication. we're both basically fairly independent people that do as we want, when we want, without really taking others into consideration. well, at least that's how he used to be.

now a little background information on his girlfriend, we'll call her girl. girl happens to be the complete opposite. she's your typical female. she likes to ring him up regularly to see how his day was. she likes to call him a million times in a row if he doesn't pick up the phone right away. she wants to know what he did all day. she likes to see him whenever she can. she is, easily put, emotionally dependent. i'm not saying that's a bad thing. i'm just stating the facts. girl and boy couldn't have started out more different.

i had lunch with them the other day and we got to talking. how do you guys make your relationship work? how does her "neediness" not get on your nerves? how does his inability to talk on the phone and be there whenever you need him not piss you off? after all was said and done, it was quite simple. compromise. typical, i know. but it's what works. after over a year of dating, they have become better people because of each other. boy is now a much more understanding, social person. boy takes into account other people's feelings and needs before his own. boy is on his way to becoming a real human being. girl has also changed for the better. girl has become less needy and demanding. girl has chilled down quite a bit. girl doesn't call 10 times in a row if the boy doesn't pick up the phone right away. girl waits for him to call her back. she now knows he eventually will. easy as that.

what is the point of this long ass story that i'm sure you stopped reading 30 lines ago?

well, let me tell you my kiddies.

it all goes back to proving my statement that no matter how different two people's personalities are, it doesn't matter. if you're willing to put in the time and effort to accommodate the other person and to meet somewhere in the middle, anything can work. also, you may walk away becoming a better person having done so. obviously (in my opinion), having something in common that can become a topic of conversation is also a necessary factor in sustaining a viable relationship, but that seems to be a no-brainer.

basically, i walked away from this conversation with the boy telling me i'm just like him. we need to date someone who's not exactly like us. i need someone like girl. someone who will keep me accountable. someone who will pick up the phone and call me regularly and make me make the effort to see them. someone who is just a little bit "needy". someone who is so unlike myself that it's almost painful in the beginning. this could be my saving grace. obviously, this isn't going to be the game changer when it comes to my issues in the relationship department. however, this post is getting way too long and delving into that would take at least 3 more pages. my problematic love-life is a topic that can addressed at another time. trust me. i won't be rid of these problems anytime soon. after all, as you all know, i am the queen supreme of the friend-zone.

did that post even make sense? did i even address the topic? i don't know what just happened. whatever. doesn't matter. in the end, it's just me thinking out loud. who really cares if it makes any sense to anyone else.

august

it's august already! oh, how time flies! i can't believe summer is already more than half-way over. i can't wait till fall. fall weather in korea is perfection. summer, not so much. well, since we still have a couple months till it starts cooling down a bit here ...

things to look foward to in august:

shin's visit ...

christine's visit ...

doug and irene's visit ...

and of course, my big move north of the river in a couple weeks! it's crazy. NORTH of the river! changes are a-brewin'!

i always love when it when old friends come visit seoul (and me!). after all, if i can't go back to see everyone, the next best option is having everyone come here to see me!

it's going to be a good month. i can feel it in my bones.

she looks like she would be emotionally unstable

hey

sometimes if you're up for it

that's fun

it's all up to you

whether or not you're willing to go on a lil adventure or not

if you have nothing better than try it

yeah i think what it requires the most of

is you gotta know where and when you are

if this is the proper context

if this is a good time for you to deal with this

that's my thing right now

although i wish i could just forest gump things

but i'm still too serious at times

the fact that a lot of us just have these wants…

have these understandings of what the other person should be

but the funny thing is

rarely do we know who we are

or ever do we spend the time

to figure out what is going on with us

but that's the thing

to understand that because you're capable of change

because you're capable of being someone else altogether

this means that any one person can be something/someone different

the only thing is

what's the catalyst that'll do this ?

if it's something internally or if it's something externally that sparks this

for those that spark externally

they live a shallow life not investigating or getting to know anything

whereas those who internally drive to change themselves for themselves

the ones that are self scrutinizing and demanding more of themselves

they are the ones that i think will make that journey worthwhile

you should live your life

with the excitement of the next day

you should live your life in a way that you're invigorated

and sure you'll have lows

really low lows too

but something inside you must be there to fight all that

and just make you want more of yourself

and demand more of yourself

------------------------------------------------------------------------

sorry if it seems a little scattered. i wanted to omit whatever i contributed to the conversation. i wanted it to be just him. he's my living, breathing, real-life self help book.

is it just me or does anyone else feel like all the good, real conversations only happen in the middle of the night?

wanted: dependable clutch player in korea

saturday night, waiting for friends who said they'd show up to walk through the door. one by one, they all fall through.

me: everyone i depended on is bailing

friend: at times like this you need a clutch player. someone who will always be there to pick you up during hard times. mine is captain morgan and walker.

me: mine is ry

friend: what's ry?

me: szanyi

it's been too long! i miss my gold coast neighbor and faux boyfriend. =( i've seen everyone else at least 2 times since i moved. i haven't seen mr. szanyi in 1.5 years! 1.5 years!!!! madness! going through ry guy withdrawl.

p.s. faux bfs are hard to come by these days. looking for a replacement is hard work.

weekend delight

this may have been one of the best weekends i've had in a long time. a positive perspective is everything. as soon as i decided to just live life, go with the flow, and enjoy the ride, everything just sort of fell into place. this may all seem like a bunch of hoohah but whatever, i had the best weekend ever.

coworker's baby's first birthday party
harry potter 7.2
long walks by the river w/ sani
drinks w/ friends and family
meeting new people
great conversations
good food
new shoes ... on sale!
mani/pedi

it's summertime and the living's easy.

jisan valley rock festival next weekend means a 4-day week for me.

oh yea, i also found a new place to live! i'll be moving in 2 weeks!!! the place is perfect and i think it's a good move. much quieter. it'll take me away from the chaos and the superficiality of cheongdam ... hopefully. i'll keep you posted.

loving life.

and she's back ...

hello all.

sorry for the lack of posting for the last 3 months. honestly speaking, nothing of real interest has happened to me since the last post. well, i turned 25. probably the reason why i'm back. 25 isn't all it's cracked up to be. i experienced a genuine panic attack for the first time since college and it wasn't pretty. i guess my quarter-life crisis came right on schedule. constant feelings of dread, regret, uncertainty, and ennui have been plaguing me. i'm just not myself right now.

i'd just like to say thanks to all of those people that made my birthday bearable this year. your words of love and encouragement are what keep me smiling and sane. i'm so thankful to have all of you part of my life. honestly, i don't know what i'd do without you guys.

anyway ...

so ... i guess the big 2-5. my first post as a 25 year old, mature adult. maybe a list of goals or something is in order. how about a little bit of what's been on my mind lately.

i'm trying to make myself better again. i want to go back to being the person i used to be. the genuinely happy person that didn't have to keep a fake smile plastered on her face at all times. i want to go back to being the person who loved life. the person who had goals, ambitions, and purpose. i realize my current lifestyle isn't conducive to me attaining any of this. i'm trying. i'm going to start with all the things that used to bring me joy.

run
love
live
laugh
read
eat
sleep
volunteer
reflect
travel
explore
adventure
spontaneity
human connection

i'm sure there's more that should be on this list. this will do for now. it's a good starting point.

i'm tired of being sad. i have so many blessings in my life. so many things i should be thankful for. i think i need to just remind myself of all these things anytime i'm feeling down.

thanks again for the constant support.

i love and miss you all.

handbook to life

just a teensy weensy bit behind on the whole blogging thing. have yet to show you all my pictures from singapore or the most adorable new boy in my life. all in due time. for now ...

Handbook to Life

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don’t have negative thoughts over things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don’t overdo. Keep your limits.
14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. Be grateful for what you have been given.
18. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
21. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away (like algebra class) but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
22. Smile and laugh more.
23. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:
24. Call your family often.
25. Each day give something good to others.
26. Forgive.
27. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
28. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
31. Do the right thing!
32. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
33. God heals everything.
34. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
36. The best is yet to come.
37. When you awake alive in the morning, thank God for it.
38. Your inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

is this heaven?

hi all!

so apparently i haven't posted in nearly a month. well, i only really blog when i have interesting things to blog about. i guess i haven't had anything interesting happen to me in the last month. but don't you worry! i finally had a new experience in korea! what could it be you ask?

wait for it ...

wait for it ...

it's ...

the ...

jjim jil bang (essentially a glorified spa)!

my friend from america was in town to visit and we decided that we needed to do something absolutely korean. what luck! none of us had ever been to a jjim jil bang before! believe me, jjim jil bangs are as korean as they get. so, with nothing else to do on a saturday night, we made our way to one of the largest jjim jil bangs in seoul ... the dragon hill spa in yongsan. even the name is super asian! it was absolute madness!!!

jjim jil bangs are open 24 hrs. and typically cost around $10 USD to visit. this particular jjim jil bang cost us 12,000 won (roughly $10 USD). these places are typically frequented by korean ahjummas who have nothing better to do during the day, families, and people who missed the last train/bus home and need somewhere cheap to crash. they are awesome. and like it's name, the dragon hill spa was no joke.

it was huge. and when i say huge, i mean HUGE!!!!! i could never have imagined such a place to exist. seriously. this place has everything. i am 99.5% positive that i could spend my entire life in this place without ever having to leave for provisions. they have a fitness center, outdoor pool/hot tub, different temperature saunas, a spa for massages and facials and whatnot, an arcade and play area for the kiddies, a restaurant, multiple snack bars (they even sell beer), large tvs, separate sleeping rooms for men and women, locker rooms, shower facilities, a small movie theater, an internet cafe, a nail station, and even pillows and blankets you can rent for when you just can't bring yourself to go home at night. i kid you not. this place seriously exists. i'm convinced this is what heaven would be like. only thing missing is george clooney.

anyway ...

david, eunice, her cousins, and i made our way into the spa. we were given comfortable clothes to change into. they were essentially pajamas, a baggy pair of shorts and a t-shirt. after we changed into our snazzy dragon hill spa gear we were free to roam around and do whatever we pleased. our little crew explored each of the different temperature saunas (including something that looked an awful lot like a large kiln), ate bing-su (shaved ice with fruit and rice cakes), boiled eggs (a jjim jil bang staple), and drank shik-hae (korean rice drink). we basically just laid around, shooting the shit, stuffing our faces, and occasionally got up to sweat our balls off. lazy lazy saturday. the saturday night of champions! eventually eunice and her cousins left and david and i (having missed the trains back home) decided to just crash there in the communal sleeping hall (aka the concentration camp). we woke up around 7 am and made our way home.

a great experience overall. if any of you come to visit me, i'll be sure to take you guys! =)

now, for the good stuff, the pictures ...

eunice's cousins, me, eunice, and david spending a saturday night @ the jjim jil bang

(please note our awesome dragon hill spa gear and princess leia towel headpieces)

the arcade inside the jjim jil bang

me and david looking super duper uber FOB in the kiddies' play area

a portion of the communal hall

david snapped this sweet pic when we woke up in the morning

(please note the concentration camp-esque feel of the room and the large kiln in the background)

gobble gobble

happy thanksgiving!!!!

well, for all of you in the states, happy thanksgiving. this happens to be one of my favorite holidays. blackout wednesday, thanksgiving thursday, black friday, then the weekend! it's the perfect combination of drinking, eating, shopping, and resting! sadly, i won't be able to spend it with my family and friends this year. ahhhhh i can't believe i'm missing out on thanksgiving dinner back home. i miss the candied yams, stuffing, pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes, ham, and of course the turkey. i'm drooling just thinking about it.

our typical thanksgiving spread at home =(

now now, don't feel too bad for me. i've come up with a solution! a few of my american friends and i are doing our own thanksgiving dinner. sadly, considering i don't have an oven, it won't be in the comfort of my own home. however, there are restaurants in korea that have thanksgiving specials just for all of us ex-pats! yay! we were a little late in making reservations so we weren't able to get a table for tonight, but we're doing it sunday. better late than never! they've promised turkey, mashed potatoes + gravy, green beans, soup, salad, and pumpkin pie! i'm so excited. we'll see how it goes.

now that thanksgiving is taken care of ... moving on to the next holiday ...

christmas!!!!!

i know christmas is still a month away, but i'm freaking out! i have no idea what to get my parents. well, i know what i'm getting my mom but my dad is impossible. i think he has to be the hardest person to shop for. we always just end up getting him clothes or shoes or accessories. i want to get him something he might want rather than something he needs. i was thinking of getting my dad an ipod, stereo dock, and something that'll enable him to listen to it in the car. what do you guys think?

that's my dad to the left. yes, he is lighting his cigarette with one of those lighters you use to light your stove, a barbeque, and not a cigarette. yes, we were all a bit surprised when he pulled that baby out of his pocket after dinner. lol anyway, in case you guys don't know my dad, he is not the most technologically savvy person out there. he pretends to be, but don't let him fool you. he's not! do you think he'd be able to handle an ipod? i figure that i'll get him an ipod classic (160gb), load it up with all of his favorite songs (he doesn't listen to anything new really), teach him how to use it while i'm there, and he should be good (atleast until one of the other hongs come home for break or something). i really can't think of anything else he might want. any other ideas? what's a good gift to get a dad? i really don't want to have to resort to buying him another polo, sweater, scarf, etc. HELP ME!

i'll be home for christmas

i'm going home!!!!

sadly, not right this minute, but soon enough! i booked my flight outta here! i'll be arriving in chicago on dec, 24th and will stay till jan. 2nd. that's 9 full days in chicago! i'll most likely be busy for a majority of the trip, what with the holidays, family, and whatnot, but i'd like to see everyone at least once during my short stay! i can't wait to go back! i have so many things i want to do, people i want to see, things i want to eat!!! omg i can't wait for some amazing food! i definitely want to go to some of my all-time favorite restaurants with my all-time favorite people! you know who you are!

foods i need to eat:

quartino's
avec
giordano's
portillo's
SUSHI!!!!
kuma's
chipotle
molly's cupcakes
fred's
etc.... (too many to list them all!)

i also can't wait for new year's eve! i'm staying till the 2nd of january so that i can spend new year's eve with you guys! we're going to party all night and then i'll probably have to spend the entire next day getting better for my flight the day after! it'll be short, but sweet! =)

i can't wait to see all of you!

1 month + 1 day and counting till this ...

this is definitely happening again this year ... miss you guys!!!

6 months and counting ...

i got to korea in may, blinked, and it was november. how times flies. this is the first time i've been in korea for more than my summer break. i've actually never even been in korea for the cold weather before and i'm alarmed at how cold it is. it's no better than chicago! i've been duped! one would assume that considering how hot the summers are here winters would be tolerable. apparently not. anyway, i digress. i can't believe it's almost 2011. where did the time go? my mid-20s are approaching at an alarming rate and i still feel like i'm just a kid. maybe listening to this new taylor swift album on repeat all day is making me feel like i'm a 15 yr. old teenage girl again. must stop now! but ... i can't! i won't! I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT!!!!!

anyway ...

i feel like i've been working here forever but at the same time it also feels like i arrived just yesterday. it's been a little over 6 months since i stepped foot in the motherland and it's been surreal. in the beginning, i thought i'd never be able to call korea my home or even enjoy my time here. i guess when you're open-minded (and you have no other choice), things change. i'm slowly starting to feel like i belong and i look forward to the coming months here. i've managed to make a few close friends and i have actually established a routine here. i have constants in my korean life! it's a miracle! however, no matter how great things are going, i can't help but feel lonely at times.

i am desperately missing all of my friends, family, and my chicago. i especially miss what this season brings back in the states. october through january = ridiculous costumes + food + more food + presents + parties + friends/family + kisses @ midnight + the occasional holiday fling. sadly, the holiday spirit doesn't seem to reside in seoul. i hear he makes a pit stop on christmas day but then he's out of here in the blink of an eye in order to make it back to the states in time for the NYE ball drop. it's actually kind of sad. while everyone in the states are anxiously awaiting thanksgiving, the superbowl, and their fat pants, i'm anxiously awaiting ... nothing (i've already made the transition into my fat pants ... no waiting necessary). i had every intention of making my way back to the states for the holiday season but now i don't know if that's going to happen. if i do come, it'll be from dec. 29th - jan. 7/8. we'll see how this project plays out. i can't wait till i can see all of you again! it's been too long! oh yea, i also can't wait for all of you who are coming to visit in the winter! make plans to see me while i'm here.

till then ...

i have this bear to comfort me. rawr!

well, i'm still at the office at 9 p.m. i should probably get back to finishing this damn campus entrance if i ever want to go home.

friends + summer

missing the crew and chicago summers like mad.

totally creeped the 2nd photo off of amber's facebook.

london 2011 reunion? i think so!