back to the beginning

folks, it's about that time. the end is nigh! my two years in seoul is almost up and i'm on the prowl for a new job that will take me back stateside.

the plan? 

i'll move back to the states, get an architecture job, rack up my hours, get licensed, and then take a long hard look at my life and decide if i want to pursue something else or stay an architect. i know many of you are rooting for me to switch careers as soon as i get back ... but ... i need a safety net. i need to have a back-up plan. i figure, considering i went to school for 5 years for architecture, i should at least get licensed. i don't want all of that tuition money to go to waste, do i? i also am unsure if my unhappiness with architecture is due to my current environment (korean office, korean people, korean architecture ... korea in general) or the actual work itself. i think i'll give architecture one last chance.

phase one: research.

phase two: apply.

phase three: work on my portfolio.

phase four: interview. (hopefully!)

phase five: either repeat steps one, two, and four all over again or accept a position!

i spent most of my day researching firms i'd want to apply to. i'm currently looking for a job in new york city, san francisco, or chicago. does anyone have any contacts in any of these places that would be able to give me a bit more insight into the application process for their particular firms? i only know a few people in nyc and chicago and i know i'm going to need all the help i can get.

and ... that's as far as i've gotten. just the research. 

my plan is to have completed phase two by the beginning of next month. i need to start getting together my work samples, write a cover letter, and update my resume! there's only two weeks left till october! two weeks for all of that? mon dieu!

wish me luck!

thought party up in my head

i'm young.

i have time.

i need to chill the fuck out.

i know. i know. i know!

i agree wholeheartedly.

i've been making a valiant (at least what i believe to be valiant) effort to relax, kick back, and just take everything day by day. however, i can't help but feel this certain amount of anxiety. i need to get my ducks in row! or is it line? who knows. i don't like ducks. they're loud, annoying, and they freak me out.

excuse me, i digress ...

anyway ...

it's probably not helping that we're already halfway through 2011 and i still have yet to plan my next move. questions looming ...

where do i move?

when do i move?

where should i go in january?

when am i going to visit london?

should i just stay in korea till after stephany gets married?

why the hell is everyone getting married in 2012?

will i ever get married?

do i really come off as emotionless to everyone?

can i really run that half marathon in june?

what's the big plan?

will i ever finish my portfolio?

do i even want to work on my portfolio?

do i even want to stay in architecture?

do i want to be underpaid and overworked forever?

is it time for a career change?

can i hack it in fashion?

do i want to start all over again?!

does that mean i have to move to new york city?

do i want to live in a tiny cramped apartment with a roommate i'll inevitably hate?

when am i going to have the time to travel the world if i'm starting all over again?!

what's the right thing to do?

just a sampling of the questions hanging out and causing a ruckus up in my brain. they haunt my dreams ... not really. but that's quite a lot to think about. maybe it's time to actually start answering some of them.

don't worry. this isn't me taking a dive into the dark lake of depression. i'm just trying to figure things out. what really makes me happy? after all, that's what i, what everybody, wants in the end. right?

to just be happy. =)

and she's back ...

hello all.

sorry for the lack of posting for the last 3 months. honestly speaking, nothing of real interest has happened to me since the last post. well, i turned 25. probably the reason why i'm back. 25 isn't all it's cracked up to be. i experienced a genuine panic attack for the first time since college and it wasn't pretty. i guess my quarter-life crisis came right on schedule. constant feelings of dread, regret, uncertainty, and ennui have been plaguing me. i'm just not myself right now.

i'd just like to say thanks to all of those people that made my birthday bearable this year. your words of love and encouragement are what keep me smiling and sane. i'm so thankful to have all of you part of my life. honestly, i don't know what i'd do without you guys.

anyway ...

so ... i guess the big 2-5. my first post as a 25 year old, mature adult. maybe a list of goals or something is in order. how about a little bit of what's been on my mind lately.

i'm trying to make myself better again. i want to go back to being the person i used to be. the genuinely happy person that didn't have to keep a fake smile plastered on her face at all times. i want to go back to being the person who loved life. the person who had goals, ambitions, and purpose. i realize my current lifestyle isn't conducive to me attaining any of this. i'm trying. i'm going to start with all the things that used to bring me joy.

run
love
live
laugh
read
eat
sleep
volunteer
reflect
travel
explore
adventure
spontaneity
human connection

i'm sure there's more that should be on this list. this will do for now. it's a good starting point.

i'm tired of being sad. i have so many blessings in my life. so many things i should be thankful for. i think i need to just remind myself of all these things anytime i'm feeling down.

thanks again for the constant support.

i love and miss you all.

handbook to life

just a teensy weensy bit behind on the whole blogging thing. have yet to show you all my pictures from singapore or the most adorable new boy in my life. all in due time. for now ...

Handbook to Life

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don’t have negative thoughts over things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don’t overdo. Keep your limits.
14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. Be grateful for what you have been given.
18. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
21. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away (like algebra class) but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
22. Smile and laugh more.
23. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:
24. Call your family often.
25. Each day give something good to others.
26. Forgive.
27. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
28. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
31. Do the right thing!
32. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
33. God heals everything.
34. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
36. The best is yet to come.
37. When you awake alive in the morning, thank God for it.
38. Your inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

bollocks to adulthood!

hi all.

long time no see.

it's a beautiful saturday afternoon in seoul. it's sunny and warm and it looks like everyone is out enjoying the weather. well, everyone but yours truly. i am currently sitting at my desk, in front of my computer, in my office, and NOT out and about trying to fool myself that it is warm enough to sit outside of my favorite cafe and people watch. i should also mention that one day this week i was at the office till 3am and another night i didn't go home till 8am the next morning. it's just like college but without all your awesome friends to keep you company! what fun! oh adulthood, you suck. a lot. pay attention kiddies, it's not all fun and games, designer shoes, and trips to exotic lands you thought it would be. sad, but true. however, all this hard work is what provides you the resources necessary to fund your trips to fun and exotic places (should you ever get enough vacation days to go). a prime example would be my recent trip to singapore/indonesia!

yes folks, you read right. i ended up going to singapore and indonesia instead of singapore and vietnam. funny story. americans need a visa to get in to the awesomeness that is vietnam. yup, not really a funny story but a story nonetheless. apparently koreans don't need one but americans do. that's where i got confused. i kept telling everyone in korea i was going to vietnam and no one, NO ONE!!!, mentioned that i might need a visa. so, i didn't realize i needed one until i got to singapore and my cousin asked me if i got my visa to get in to vietnam. say what????? uhhhh no ... i had not. i tried to get one last minute but since it was chinese new year the embassy decided it'd take a little holiday for the ENTIRE WEEK!!! those lazy bastards! we only get 1 day off for our stupid new years! apparently asians are not the unrelenting, super-efficient, workaholic robots we thought they were. lame balls.

however, my trip was still awesome. also, korean airlines is awesome. seriously. i've decided that, if given the choice, i will fly the majority of my flights on korean airlines. of course, this is when funds are available. sadly, korean airlines ticket prices match the quality of their impeccable service. it's freaking expensive!!!! however, they were able to reroute my return flight from vietnam-seoul to singapore-seoul free of fees. i only had to pay the $60 dollar ticket fare difference. one word. AWESOME. especially since when i called expedia to inquire about the same thing they said it would be impossible considering i was mid-trip. idiots. bollocks to expedia.com!!

anyway ...

it's almost dinner time and it looks like i actually have some work to do. update on my singapore trip with pictures (yay!) coming soon.

restless

just booked my trip to singapore and ho chi minh city, vietnam to visit my cousin, joanie. i leave in a week! it looks like a week break from the frigid cold. i hear it's hot and humid down where i'm headed! yay! updates with pics and stories when i get back!

plan 2012 america

you know what's really fucking annoying?

people (or one person specifically) who come by your desk every 5 seconds and comment how you're not doing work and then walk away. well, buddy, if someone would give me some work to do then maybe i'd do something other than check my facebook and every blog on the internet every 5 seconds. one can only browse the archives of dezeen and archdaily so many times. seriously, they don't give me anything to do and yet they're appalled when i'm sitting here staring at something unrelated to architecture! i've asked! seriously, i've asked! give me work!!!!! i can understand if it's only one day i have nothing on my plate, but it's been one motherf-ing week!!!! give me something to do!!!! if i knew this would have been the case, i'd probably have asked to stay in the states for longer than the one week i was alotted.

oh yea, did i mention that this same person who used to call me fat (refer to previous blog entry) and now he's also the person who comes by and complains that i didn't get him a gift from america while everyone else got one. i don't think he comprehends that a gift is something you get for people you actually like. a gift is not something that is owed to people just because they are of higher rank than you in the office. apparently they don't teach these sort of things here. ridiculous! i'm not wasting my money on people i don't care for. no thank you.

kill me now.

plan 2012 america is officially underway!

there is no freaking way i can survive in korea for more than a year and a half.

see you stateside 2012!!!!

6 months and counting ...

i got to korea in may, blinked, and it was november. how times flies. this is the first time i've been in korea for more than my summer break. i've actually never even been in korea for the cold weather before and i'm alarmed at how cold it is. it's no better than chicago! i've been duped! one would assume that considering how hot the summers are here winters would be tolerable. apparently not. anyway, i digress. i can't believe it's almost 2011. where did the time go? my mid-20s are approaching at an alarming rate and i still feel like i'm just a kid. maybe listening to this new taylor swift album on repeat all day is making me feel like i'm a 15 yr. old teenage girl again. must stop now! but ... i can't! i won't! I LOVE TAYLOR SWIFT!!!!!

anyway ...

i feel like i've been working here forever but at the same time it also feels like i arrived just yesterday. it's been a little over 6 months since i stepped foot in the motherland and it's been surreal. in the beginning, i thought i'd never be able to call korea my home or even enjoy my time here. i guess when you're open-minded (and you have no other choice), things change. i'm slowly starting to feel like i belong and i look forward to the coming months here. i've managed to make a few close friends and i have actually established a routine here. i have constants in my korean life! it's a miracle! however, no matter how great things are going, i can't help but feel lonely at times.

i am desperately missing all of my friends, family, and my chicago. i especially miss what this season brings back in the states. october through january = ridiculous costumes + food + more food + presents + parties + friends/family + kisses @ midnight + the occasional holiday fling. sadly, the holiday spirit doesn't seem to reside in seoul. i hear he makes a pit stop on christmas day but then he's out of here in the blink of an eye in order to make it back to the states in time for the NYE ball drop. it's actually kind of sad. while everyone in the states are anxiously awaiting thanksgiving, the superbowl, and their fat pants, i'm anxiously awaiting ... nothing (i've already made the transition into my fat pants ... no waiting necessary). i had every intention of making my way back to the states for the holiday season but now i don't know if that's going to happen. if i do come, it'll be from dec. 29th - jan. 7/8. we'll see how this project plays out. i can't wait till i can see all of you again! it's been too long! oh yea, i also can't wait for all of you who are coming to visit in the winter! make plans to see me while i'm here.

till then ...

i have this bear to comfort me. rawr!

well, i'm still at the office at 9 p.m. i should probably get back to finishing this damn campus entrance if i ever want to go home.

an update to appease the masses

happy 3 month anniversary to me!!

it's been 3 months, to the day, since my first day at work!

may: complete and utter boredom paired with a serious language barrier.

june: became (and still am) the official department translator. so far i've had to contact people in italy, germany, hong kong, france, england, and america. i'm international, bitch!

july: finally able to open up autocad and sketchup!!! granted, it's to work on the front gate to a university campus. the gate that is the bane of my existence (said whilst shaking fist in air)!

slowly, but surely, i'm moving on up! we'll see what august brings.

actually, knowing both english and korean has some benefits. i was able to go along on a photoshoot with roland halbe a few weeks ago as his translator. we went to photograph the korean anime museum by NBBJ and Gansam architects. for those of you who are unfamiliar with his work, he is an architectural photographer. he shot the MTCC on the IIT campus and he's the one who shot this photograph.

werner sobek's home r-128, stuttgart, germany

he's actually a very interesting person. adventures were had. climbing on apartment building roofs, knocking on random people's doors to shoot the building from inside their homes, and i'm in a few of the photographs! we'll see if they show up somewhere ... c3 or space maybe? he also told me about the time werner sobek got locked in his home on his way to the airport and couldn't get out. fun stuff.