mother knows best

american dating:

girl meets boy.
girl talks to boy.
girl dates boy.

korean dating:

girl has friends.
girl's friends have other friends.
girl's friends set girl up on blind date with said other friend.
girl goes on blind date.
girl dates boy.

this is pretty much how it goes here. there is no meeting someone random in a bar. there is no spontaneous conversation with a perfect stranger on some mode of public transportation. there is no chance meeting.

blind dates are considered desperate, sad, and pathetic back in the states. here, they are a way of life. if you're not open to blind dating, you're not open to dating. period. the only other way you'll have a significant other is if you start dating someone already in your circle of friends or at work. for me, this is never an option. not saying that i'm looking for a boyfriend necessarily. it just seems that if i were to ever want one, my options are incredibly limited.

this is how an introductory conversation in korea goes:

what's your name? ...
where are you from? ...
how old are you? ...
do you have a boyfriend? ...
i have someone i could introduce you to! ...

true story. i would know. i've had the same conversation with everyone in my office. someone actually even had a name of a prospective to offer up on the spot. right then and there. this leads me to the main point of this post ... my most recent set-up attempt ... BY MY MOTHER!!!

i get a call from my mother. she tells me she has a friend who'll be flying to korea in a few days and is willing to bring some of my personal belongings. i give her a list of stuff i need and she explains to me that the lady will give me a call when she gets in. i think that's the end of this conversation. what more is there to say? it all seems pretty standard. easy as pie ... lady calls, i meet her, pick up my stuff, and done. WRONG. my mother starts going in another direction with the conversation. she tells me to make sure to be respectful and polite when i meet said lady. she tells me to wear appropriate clothing. she tells me to look presentable. uhhhh ... 1. i'm always awesomely nice and presentable ... 2. why the hell is she telling me all of this? i thought i was just picking up some stuff and i'd be on my way. wrong again. this is when my mother reveals her true intention ... this lady has a son. oh, and what a son. he is 32 (or 31 .. or 30?), most probably tall and handsome (his father is tall and his mother is pretty so he must possess both qualities!), and he's a doctor (or in school ... or the army ... or something). my mother is very vague in her description. she doesn't know much. she just knows he's a boy and that he is in need of a good woman!

apparently this lady knew that my mother birthed 3 lovely girls so she paid my mom a visit at the store to have a little chat. what luck! she meets stephany ...

lady: i love stephany. so sweet. so cute. perfect future daughter-in-law material. why yes, i'll take her!

mom: no, no, no. stephany is too young and she already has a bf.

lady: what of your other daughters?

mom: i have an older daughter! she is 24. prime and ready to walk down the aisle.

lady: that's perfect! where is she? my son lives in korea.

mom: perfection. my daughter is also currently residing in korea!

lady: it's match made in heaven. yes, i will meet her. please give me an excuse to see your eldest daughter.

mom: you can take her stuff to her! she'll have to meet you if she ever wants to see her christian louboutin black patent leather shoe boots again!! muhahahahaahaha (evil laughter and rubbing together of hands)!!!!!!

the end. mind you, i'm paraphrasing the conversation, but i'm almost positive my mother did an evil laughter whilst rubbing her hands together. these korean women are devious and cunning when it comes to matchmaking their hopeless offsprings. i have yet to hear from this lady or her leper of a son. we'll see what happens. i just want my shoes damnit!!!!!

on another note ...

desperately wanting a vespa for next spring ... yay or nay?