"to feel.
it's as vital as breath.
and without it,
without love,
without anger,
without sorrow,
breath is just a clock ... ticking."
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
and she's back ...
hello all.
sorry for the lack of posting for the last 3 months. honestly speaking, nothing of real interest has happened to me since the last post. well, i turned 25. probably the reason why i'm back. 25 isn't all it's cracked up to be. i experienced a genuine panic attack for the first time since college and it wasn't pretty. i guess my quarter-life crisis came right on schedule. constant feelings of dread, regret, uncertainty, and ennui have been plaguing me. i'm just not myself right now.
i'd just like to say thanks to all of those people that made my birthday bearable this year. your words of love and encouragement are what keep me smiling and sane. i'm so thankful to have all of you part of my life. honestly, i don't know what i'd do without you guys.
anyway ...
so ... i guess the big 2-5. my first post as a 25 year old, mature adult. maybe a list of goals or something is in order. how about a little bit of what's been on my mind lately.
i'm trying to make myself better again. i want to go back to being the person i used to be. the genuinely happy person that didn't have to keep a fake smile plastered on her face at all times. i want to go back to being the person who loved life. the person who had goals, ambitions, and purpose. i realize my current lifestyle isn't conducive to me attaining any of this. i'm trying. i'm going to start with all the things that used to bring me joy.
run
love
live
laugh
read
eat
sleep
volunteer
reflect
travel
explore
adventure
spontaneity
human connection
i'm sure there's more that should be on this list. this will do for now. it's a good starting point.
i'm tired of being sad. i have so many blessings in my life. so many things i should be thankful for. i think i need to just remind myself of all these things anytime i'm feeling down.
thanks again for the constant support.
i love and miss you all.
sorry for the lack of posting for the last 3 months. honestly speaking, nothing of real interest has happened to me since the last post. well, i turned 25. probably the reason why i'm back. 25 isn't all it's cracked up to be. i experienced a genuine panic attack for the first time since college and it wasn't pretty. i guess my quarter-life crisis came right on schedule. constant feelings of dread, regret, uncertainty, and ennui have been plaguing me. i'm just not myself right now.
i'd just like to say thanks to all of those people that made my birthday bearable this year. your words of love and encouragement are what keep me smiling and sane. i'm so thankful to have all of you part of my life. honestly, i don't know what i'd do without you guys.
anyway ...
so ... i guess the big 2-5. my first post as a 25 year old, mature adult. maybe a list of goals or something is in order. how about a little bit of what's been on my mind lately.
i'm trying to make myself better again. i want to go back to being the person i used to be. the genuinely happy person that didn't have to keep a fake smile plastered on her face at all times. i want to go back to being the person who loved life. the person who had goals, ambitions, and purpose. i realize my current lifestyle isn't conducive to me attaining any of this. i'm trying. i'm going to start with all the things that used to bring me joy.
run
love
live
laugh
read
eat
sleep
volunteer
reflect
travel
explore
adventure
spontaneity
human connection
i'm sure there's more that should be on this list. this will do for now. it's a good starting point.
i'm tired of being sad. i have so many blessings in my life. so many things i should be thankful for. i think i need to just remind myself of all these things anytime i'm feeling down.
thanks again for the constant support.
i love and miss you all.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
handbook to life
just a teensy weensy bit behind on the whole blogging thing. have yet to show you all my pictures from singapore or the most adorable new boy in my life. all in due time. for now ...
Handbook to Life
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
Personality:
11. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don’t have negative thoughts over things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don’t overdo. Keep your limits.
14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. Be grateful for what you have been given.
18. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
21. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away (like algebra class) but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
22. Smile and laugh more.
23. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Society:
24. Call your family often.
25. Each day give something good to others.
26. Forgive.
27. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
28. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
31. Do the right thing!
32. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
33. God heals everything.
34. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
36. The best is yet to come.
37. When you awake alive in the morning, thank God for it.
38. Your inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
Handbook to Life
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
Personality:
11. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don’t have negative thoughts over things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don’t overdo. Keep your limits.
14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. Be grateful for what you have been given.
18. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
21. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away (like algebra class) but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
22. Smile and laugh more.
23. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Society:
24. Call your family often.
25. Each day give something good to others.
26. Forgive.
27. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
28. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
31. Do the right thing!
32. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
33. God heals everything.
34. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
36. The best is yet to come.
37. When you awake alive in the morning, thank God for it.
38. Your inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
bollocks to adulthood!
hi all.
long time no see.
it's a beautiful saturday afternoon in seoul. it's sunny and warm and it looks like everyone is out enjoying the weather. well, everyone but yours truly. i am currently sitting at my desk, in front of my computer, in my office, and NOT out and about trying to fool myself that it is warm enough to sit outside of my favorite cafe and people watch. i should also mention that one day this week i was at the office till 3am and another night i didn't go home till 8am the next morning. it's just like college but without all your awesome friends to keep you company! what fun! oh adulthood, you suck. a lot. pay attention kiddies, it's not all fun and games, designer shoes, and trips to exotic lands you thought it would be. sad, but true. however, all this hard work is what provides you the resources necessary to fund your trips to fun and exotic places (should you ever get enough vacation days to go). a prime example would be my recent trip to singapore/indonesia!
yes folks, you read right. i ended up going to singapore and indonesia instead of singapore and vietnam. funny story. americans need a visa to get in to the awesomeness that is vietnam. yup, not really a funny story but a story nonetheless. apparently koreans don't need one but americans do. that's where i got confused. i kept telling everyone in korea i was going to vietnam and no one, NO ONE!!!, mentioned that i might need a visa. so, i didn't realize i needed one until i got to singapore and my cousin asked me if i got my visa to get in to vietnam. say what????? uhhhh no ... i had not. i tried to get one last minute but since it was chinese new year the embassy decided it'd take a little holiday for the ENTIRE WEEK!!! those lazy bastards! we only get 1 day off for our stupid new years! apparently asians are not the unrelenting, super-efficient, workaholic robots we thought they were. lame balls.
however, my trip was still awesome. also, korean airlines is awesome. seriously. i've decided that, if given the choice, i will fly the majority of my flights on korean airlines. of course, this is when funds are available. sadly, korean airlines ticket prices match the quality of their impeccable service. it's freaking expensive!!!! however, they were able to reroute my return flight from vietnam-seoul to singapore-seoul free of fees. i only had to pay the $60 dollar ticket fare difference. one word. AWESOME. especially since when i called expedia to inquire about the same thing they said it would be impossible considering i was mid-trip. idiots. bollocks to expedia.com!!
anyway ...
it's almost dinner time and it looks like i actually have some work to do. update on my singapore trip with pictures (yay!) coming soon.
long time no see.
it's a beautiful saturday afternoon in seoul. it's sunny and warm and it looks like everyone is out enjoying the weather. well, everyone but yours truly. i am currently sitting at my desk, in front of my computer, in my office, and NOT out and about trying to fool myself that it is warm enough to sit outside of my favorite cafe and people watch. i should also mention that one day this week i was at the office till 3am and another night i didn't go home till 8am the next morning. it's just like college but without all your awesome friends to keep you company! what fun! oh adulthood, you suck. a lot. pay attention kiddies, it's not all fun and games, designer shoes, and trips to exotic lands you thought it would be. sad, but true. however, all this hard work is what provides you the resources necessary to fund your trips to fun and exotic places (should you ever get enough vacation days to go). a prime example would be my recent trip to singapore/indonesia!
yes folks, you read right. i ended up going to singapore and indonesia instead of singapore and vietnam. funny story. americans need a visa to get in to the awesomeness that is vietnam. yup, not really a funny story but a story nonetheless. apparently koreans don't need one but americans do. that's where i got confused. i kept telling everyone in korea i was going to vietnam and no one, NO ONE!!!, mentioned that i might need a visa. so, i didn't realize i needed one until i got to singapore and my cousin asked me if i got my visa to get in to vietnam. say what????? uhhhh no ... i had not. i tried to get one last minute but since it was chinese new year the embassy decided it'd take a little holiday for the ENTIRE WEEK!!! those lazy bastards! we only get 1 day off for our stupid new years! apparently asians are not the unrelenting, super-efficient, workaholic robots we thought they were. lame balls.
however, my trip was still awesome. also, korean airlines is awesome. seriously. i've decided that, if given the choice, i will fly the majority of my flights on korean airlines. of course, this is when funds are available. sadly, korean airlines ticket prices match the quality of their impeccable service. it's freaking expensive!!!! however, they were able to reroute my return flight from vietnam-seoul to singapore-seoul free of fees. i only had to pay the $60 dollar ticket fare difference. one word. AWESOME. especially since when i called expedia to inquire about the same thing they said it would be impossible considering i was mid-trip. idiots. bollocks to expedia.com!!
anyway ...
it's almost dinner time and it looks like i actually have some work to do. update on my singapore trip with pictures (yay!) coming soon.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
restless
just booked my trip to singapore and ho chi minh city, vietnam to visit my cousin, joanie. i leave in a week! it looks like a week break from the frigid cold. i hear it's hot and humid down where i'm headed! yay! updates with pics and stories when i get back!
Friday, January 7, 2011
plan 2012 america
you know what's really fucking annoying?
people (or one person specifically) who come by your desk every 5 seconds and comment how you're not doing work and then walk away. well, buddy, if someone would give me some work to do then maybe i'd do something other than check my facebook and every blog on the internet every 5 seconds. one can only browse the archives of dezeen and archdaily so many times. seriously, they don't give me anything to do and yet they're appalled when i'm sitting here staring at something unrelated to architecture! i've asked! seriously, i've asked! give me work!!!!! i can understand if it's only one day i have nothing on my plate, but it's been one motherf-ing week!!!! give me something to do!!!! if i knew this would have been the case, i'd probably have asked to stay in the states for longer than the one week i was alotted.
oh yea, did i mention that this same person who used to call me fat (refer to previous blog entry) and now he's also the person who comes by and complains that i didn't get him a gift from america while everyone else got one. i don't think he comprehends that a gift is something you get for people you actually like. a gift is not something that is owed to people just because they are of higher rank than you in the office. apparently they don't teach these sort of things here. ridiculous! i'm not wasting my money on people i don't care for. no thank you.
kill me now.
plan 2012 america is officially underway!
there is no freaking way i can survive in korea for more than a year and a half.
see you stateside 2012!!!!
people (or one person specifically) who come by your desk every 5 seconds and comment how you're not doing work and then walk away. well, buddy, if someone would give me some work to do then maybe i'd do something other than check my facebook and every blog on the internet every 5 seconds. one can only browse the archives of dezeen and archdaily so many times. seriously, they don't give me anything to do and yet they're appalled when i'm sitting here staring at something unrelated to architecture! i've asked! seriously, i've asked! give me work!!!!! i can understand if it's only one day i have nothing on my plate, but it's been one motherf-ing week!!!! give me something to do!!!! if i knew this would have been the case, i'd probably have asked to stay in the states for longer than the one week i was alotted.
oh yea, did i mention that this same person who used to call me fat (refer to previous blog entry) and now he's also the person who comes by and complains that i didn't get him a gift from america while everyone else got one. i don't think he comprehends that a gift is something you get for people you actually like. a gift is not something that is owed to people just because they are of higher rank than you in the office. apparently they don't teach these sort of things here. ridiculous! i'm not wasting my money on people i don't care for. no thank you.
kill me now.
plan 2012 america is officially underway!
there is no freaking way i can survive in korea for more than a year and a half.
see you stateside 2012!!!!
Monday, December 20, 2010
is this heaven?
hi all!
so apparently i haven't posted in nearly a month. well, i only really blog when i have interesting things to blog about. i guess i haven't had anything interesting happen to me in the last month. but don't you worry! i finally had a new experience in korea! what could it be you ask?
wait for it ...
wait for it ...
it's ...
the ...
jjim jil bang (essentially a glorified spa)!
my friend from america was in town to visit and we decided that we needed to do something absolutely korean. what luck! none of us had ever been to a jjim jil bang before! believe me, jjim jil bangs are as korean as they get. so, with nothing else to do on a saturday night, we made our way to one of the largest jjim jil bangs in seoul ... the dragon hill spa in yongsan. even the name is super asian! it was absolute madness!!!
jjim jil bangs are open 24 hrs. and typically cost around $10 USD to visit. this particular jjim jil bang cost us 12,000 won (roughly $10 USD). these places are typically frequented by korean ahjummas who have nothing better to do during the day, families, and people who missed the last train/bus home and need somewhere cheap to crash. they are awesome. and like it's name, the dragon hill spa was no joke.
it was huge. and when i say huge, i mean HUGE!!!!! i could never have imagined such a place to exist. seriously. this place has everything. i am 99.5% positive that i could spend my entire life in this place without ever having to leave for provisions. they have a fitness center, outdoor pool/hot tub, different temperature saunas, a spa for massages and facials and whatnot, an arcade and play area for the kiddies, a restaurant, multiple snack bars (they even sell beer), large tvs, separate sleeping rooms for men and women, locker rooms, shower facilities, a small movie theater, an internet cafe, a nail station, and even pillows and blankets you can rent for when you just can't bring yourself to go home at night. i kid you not. this place seriously exists. i'm convinced this is what heaven would be like. only thing missing is george clooney.
anyway ...
david, eunice, her cousins, and i made our way into the spa. we were given comfortable clothes to change into. they were essentially pajamas, a baggy pair of shorts and a t-shirt. after we changed into our snazzy dragon hill spa gear we were free to roam around and do whatever we pleased. our little crew explored each of the different temperature saunas (including something that looked an awful lot like a large kiln), ate bing-su (shaved ice with fruit and rice cakes), boiled eggs (a jjim jil bang staple), and drank shik-hae (korean rice drink). we basically just laid around, shooting the shit, stuffing our faces, and occasionally got up to sweat our balls off. lazy lazy saturday. the saturday night of champions! eventually eunice and her cousins left and david and i (having missed the trains back home) decided to just crash there in the communal sleeping hall (aka the concentration camp). we woke up around 7 am and made our way home.
a great experience overall. if any of you come to visit me, i'll be sure to take you guys! =)
now, for the good stuff, the pictures ...
eunice's cousins, me, eunice, and david spending a saturday night @ the jjim jil bang
(please note our awesome dragon hill spa gear and princess leia towel headpieces)
the arcade inside the jjim jil bang
me and david looking super duper uber FOB in the kiddies' play area
david snapped this sweet pic when we woke up in the morning
(please note the concentration camp-esque feel of the room and the large kiln in the background)
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